Women Are Dirty

"Women are dirty" Ricky Gervais as Brent on the office. Circa, whenever that show was on.

One of my, no probably my absolute favorite quote from The Office. The one on the BBC. My favorite quote from the one on NBC is from Michael to Oscar, "Is there something less offensive than Mexican that I should be calling you?" Just because that is so offensive on so many levels. Clever.

Anyway.

Back to women being dirty.

I have decided that London is officially dirtier than NYC. Shock. Gasp. Hand to chest.

I know. You probably don't believe me. But listen. (Or read) (Whatever) I LIVE HERE. And you don't!

I'm not talking about trash on the street or in the Tube stations. That's probably better than NYC. What I am talking about is boogers. Now, this is not the first time I've blogged about boogers. Read this.

Every time I come home from being out in the London air and then blow my nose... It's all gray. Or grey. I'm not sure how the spell it here. Probably grey. From soot. Or something like that. There is dirt in my nose!!! A lot of it. Turning boogers everywhere (or at least in my nose) grey. Just from walking around and breathing.

I do not like this.

Isn't this why Charles Dickens wrote Oliver? And other stuff? So that the air would be cleaner?

Gross, right?

"Boogers are dirty"

Things that I Found Odd Today

So. Today was a "flat" hunting day. I say "flat" because I keep calling them apartments, like any normal person would. And...I like quotes. They instantly provide "humor" and I don't have to actually be funny. Don't you agree? Trust me; you agree.

Anyway.

On my way out of The Tube - riding another giant escalator (they have to dig a gazillion meters (I've switched to metric and I know I've just double parenthesis-ed) to reach bedrock here. Industrious Victorians at it again) I saw an travel ad for Germany. This is what it read. And I quote, not funny, just exact,

"Germany. A great place to visit when you have the time to spare."

Am I the only person who thinks that odd? Like Germany is saying, "Oh, don't bother coming if you only have a few days. We know you're busy. You'll get around to it eventually."

What?

The next thing I found odd was a mistake on my part. I saw this headline:

Tory rebels line up to threaten plans on electoral reform

Keep in mind that I've been running around looking at "flats" all day. What I thought the headline read was this:

Toy rebels line up to threaten plans on electrical reform

I thought, "Wow. English people are really passionate about their toys. I bet they make all kinds of hand crafted, beautiful, classic toys to encourage kids to develop their imaginations. Encourage them to play with something not covered in lead paint or battery dependent personal video game consoles. Good for them!!!"

I took 3 scans through the google news site for me to actually see that this headline had nothing to do with fun. Pretty much, the most un-fun thing possible. Everybody knows that Torries are boring.

So maybe this second this isn't odd really. Whatever. Don't get picky. If you want a blog with proper grammar, and correct word usage. Um...I don't even know what blog to send you to.

Excuse me, to which blog I should send you.

Whatever. I need an apartment. Fast. Or...a "flat." STAT.

Exploring

So, yesterday was the first day that I had actual errands to run. And I also had plans to meet Tony for lunch. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but...I have to write about something, right?

First, I went to the bank and got some money. Pounds and Pounds of it. Then, I went to Vodaphone to "top up"( or was it "top off") my temporary cell phone that a super kind friend of a friend lent me. Next, I got on the bus and took it to Liverpool station and then met Tony for lunch at Ping Pong. Dim Sum place. Pretty good. After that I went to Boots, the drug store, and accidentally bought 3 bottles of shampoo - I thought one of them was conditioner. Whatever. It was white and creamy looking, at least it's moisturizing shampoo. And finally, to the grocery for some milk and orange juice. We prefer our orange juice "without juicy bits" thank you very much.

But as I was walking around I was struck by the thought that I have never stood in this place before. Nothing terribly earth shattering, but to be somewhere completely new is kind of rare, really. Even now, when I've been in London for only 2 weeks - there are places that I know how to get to. That I've been to several times. That I know what aisle the soap is in.

I'm enjoying this part.

There's more I want to tell you. But it requires pictures. And for some reason, they don't want to upload right now. I'll see if a certain someone knows any fancy computer tricks. Then maybe I can finish what I started.

STAR STRUCK!

I saw Boy George.

I know...you are so jealous.

I'm still smiling about it.

We're Here!!!

So, we made it!

Here's some proof:

Well, never mind about the proof. I was going to upload some pictures, but it's taking sooooooo long. And I have no patience for that sort of thing.

Instead. I want you to imagine this:

* A picture of St. Paul's Cathedral at night. Slightly blurry and kind of Ghost Buster-y.

* A picture of me. Shiny face and mildly greasy hair. I'm not really greasy, it just looks that way because of the night time picture.

* A picture of me and Tony. It looks like Tony's forehead is never ending. (I guess that happens when you move to London)

* Some pictures of the streets near our apartment. Looks like a movie set

Did you imagine it? Do you almost feel like you're here? In London? Can you hear the bells of St. Paul's?

I can. Because I'm about 4 blocks away.

It's Official

I am freaking out!

We got our Visas today.

The movers are coming tomorrow morning.

I've washed all the curtains.

And the rugs.

There are 5, 827 more things I can think of to do - and I'm not going to get any of them done.

Our flight is scheduled. Fancy Class. This makes me feel a little crazy because it looks like we won't really be sitting next to each other. Also, do I have to look nice to fly in Fancy Class? Can I request that someone hit me over the head right before take off? Unconscious, but not seriously injured, might be the best way to travel. But then I can't enjoy the complementary pillow, blanket, and head bashing. And who knows if we'll ever pay for Fancy Class on our own?

So, this is it. We're really moving. To another country.

Ugh. I hope you're all reading this as fast as I'm thinking it. I want you to get the level of panic - just...right...

So pray for us. Especially on Wednesday. 10:30pm EST. I'll really appreciate it:)

I love you guys. And I'll miss you.

Especially you. You've always been my favorite. Don't tell The Others.

12:47 AM. It's Officially June!

So, it's June 1.

In America, we call it 6/1.

In England, they call it 1/6. (which looks an awful lot like January 6 to me...)

Either way you look at it - it's June. And that means that we are moving. THIS MONTH!!! I can't believe it. Ahhhh!

So, Paul McCartney, and Sting, and Colin Firth, and Emma Thompson, and Richard E. Grant, and Sherlock Holmes, and Harry Potter better get busy. I expect a well planned, well executed WELCOME TO LONDON party!

"Should we have a chocolate fountain or a champagne fountain? What would make Jenny happiest?" - Colin Firth, 1/6/2010