Well, OF COURSE!

So, the past few weeks I have diligently been going to they gym.

MONDAY: Warrior Flow Yoga
TUESDAY: Pilates
WEDNESDAY: Treadmill (or resting)
THURSDAY: Pilates
FRIDAY: Slow Flow Yoga

Today after Pilates I was going to meet my friend Carrie to watch her baby while she ran into an audition. SO, when I finished class I ran down to my locker to change my clothes and run. On the way downstairs, I thought, "Wouldn't it be funny if I forgot my combination?"

HA HA. Yeah, about that.

I forgot my combination.

I tried it over and over. My lock wouldn't open. The woman next to me tried to do it for me - she couldn't get it open. Everything precious to me was in that locker (not my cat, or husband, or wedding rings, but my COAT and my PHONE - very important things)

This was terrible. My friend was depending on me. If I didn't show up in 15 minutes she was going to have to quit acting and her baby's life would be ruined forEVER...

I ran upstairs and asked if someone would clip the lock for me. Deborah (we became really good friends) reached under the front desk and pulled out the biggest, reddest lock clippers you will ever see. She got the lock off and I got my stuff.

I ran upstairs and out of the gym, called Carrie and told her I was "ON MY WAY!!!" She said, "Sure, don't worry about it."

I got on the train and sat down. Deep breath. And now I was mad because I was going to have to buy a new $8 lock. And we are poor.

I was soooooo mad at the lock because it wouldn't open - I thought I'd try one more time to see if I could get it to work...

I reached into my bag...

And...

Pulled out 2 locks.

I STOLE SOMEONE'S GYM LOCK!!! Oh my goodness! I am a thief. I totally stole someone's lock and used it and then had it destroyed.

Good Side: My lock still works.
Bad Side: Somebody else's doesn't

Is It Wrong?

To want this stuff SO BADLY...

The picture in the catalogue was so cute - cuter than the website. It made me want summer.

RIGHT.THIS.SECOND.

Can You Tell

That this is a portrait of me...Do you see the resemblance? I do. Obviously! My niece, Eve, created this masterpiece. She's just turned 3. And pays very close attention to detail. Some highlights starring Eve and Callie (my super cool 8 year old niece and Eve's big sister):

EVE: Here's you mouth. And here's you neck. And here's you nose. And here's you mo*
*note: "mo" means MOLE. I happen to have a mole on the right side of my nose. Nothing crazy, just, you know, a little mole.
CALLIE: It is really noticeable.
JON (their dad): Meh. What are you gonna do?

Too true, Jon. Too true.

The Art of the Wife

I just read this article in The New York Times. It was an OK article by a woman who is the "bread winner" in her family. She has a fantasy about being the typical 1950s housewife, blah, blah, blah. But the part I liked was the next to last paragraph (penultimate, you might say):

In the end, we all want a wife. But the home has become increasingly invaded by the ethos of work, work, work, with twin sets of external clocks imposed on a household’s natural rhythms. And in the transformation of men and women into domestic co-laborers, the Art of the Wife is fast disappearing.

I liked the phrase, "Art of the Wife". Is "Wife" an art? Do YOU wives consider yourself artists? Do you prefer working out of the home, or staying home and working?

Are there any men reading this? I doubt it, but if you are, what are you looking for in A WIFE? Would you prefer to have someone bringing in another salary, or a salary BIGGER than yours? Or would you like to have someone at home taking care of all that stuff?

Whatever. I have to go iron.

GaGa, Oh, La, La,

Is it weird that I want to buy Lady GaGa's CD? Actually, I'll probably call her GaGa. Lady just seems so formal - and I'm sure we'd be friends if we met. I have all her songs running through my head. Pretty much all the time.

That's probably not weird.

What is weird is that when I'm not thinking, "Roma-ah-ah-ah-ah..." I'm thinking about Dolly Parton. Specifically 9 to 5. I love that song. I love Dolly. I think she's great!

So, I'm going to have a little get together. And GaGa and Dolly will be there. And they'll write songs about how much they like ME. And I'll bake them brownies and then I'll help Dolly with her Imagination Library. Because I think literacy is important too!

"Hey, ya'll. Read a book!"

In Case You Didn't Know

THE HOLIDAYS are over.

So, now what do we do???

If you're me - apparently...you do nothing. Which is nice for a while. But not really. I'm tired of it already.

But I thought this picture was HILARIOUS! I was riding around Mom and Dad's neighborhood when we were home for Christmas and some of their neighbor's blow up decorations (which, in general, I kind of hate) were reflecting my mood.

They just seemed to scream - "I just can't take it anymore! Where is February? What a second - I hate February! Where is JUNE? That's a month that I like - it's not that far away is it??? I mean - six months goes pretty fast, right??? And if you think about it - it's really only five months."

So, I made Mom drive back to her place, get my camera and drive around the neighborhood again so I could take this picture. Tony didn't want to come along. So we took the dogs.

This is Daisy. I love Daisy and someday I am going to steal her and sneak her off to NYC. You can see Dora's ear in the bottom left corner, but she doesn't like to have her picture taken.

I love Dora too - but I don't want to steal her.

And a couple of pictures of Hastings because he reads this blog regularly and I don't want his feelings to be hurt. You know how touchy cats are. I love him the best.
Yes, he's in a crib. At my mom's house. He loved it in there. Someday we'll have a baby and you can have a crib at your own house, Kitty. I promise.

And this picture too. It's old and it's not very good, but it looks like he's smiling. And who doesn't love a Cat Smile?

It will help pass the time until February. JUNE!!! I meant June.

The Thing I Want Now

I have decided that I want brandy snifters.

I've been reading a lot (A LOT) of mystery novels recently. And when the cops come (in England) to question you, you offer them brandy. You also give it to someone when they are cold or in shock. I am both. So I want brandy.

Mostly, I want to hold a great big glass with amber liquid in it. I have no idea what brandy tastes like. If I don't like it - I will make a giant margarita on the rocks with salt. In my new brandy snifter. It will be awesome. I will drink it all and be warm.

And then, I will slowly come out of my shock induced stupor and say something brilliant and the Cheif Inspector will tell me that I helped him solve the mystery and that he loves me and would I please marry him and move into his beautiful estate that has been in his family for 600 years.

And I will say yes.

As long as I can bring my snifters.

But he probably has nicer ones. Because he's rich.

We'll just use his.